Not Just a Mommy

I’ve lived my whole life watching women become moms, only to suddenly neglect their husbands, themselves, and everything else.  My mom always encouraged us to not be one of those women.  I myself had determined to not be the woman whose life revolves solely around being a mom.  Sometimes, however, the best laid plans and intentions fall through.

What I never accounted for was how easy it would be to fall into the trap of making “mommy” your only identity.  The last six weeks have been full and rich, but they’ve revolved mostly around one cute little baby.  Miles commands my attention almost 24/7.  He needs me to feed him, clothe him, bathe him, change his diapers, and hold him.  When he’s having a hard time sleeping, he needs me to bounce him until he finally drifts off.  Plus, let’s face it, I just love holding him, talking to him, and playing with him.  Before you know it, everything else I’ve ever been fades into the background as my life begins to center more-and-more on my sweet baby boy.

But that’s not the way it’s meant to be.  I’ve always firmly believed, and still do, that my marriage should come before my children.  If my husband and I do not have a firm foundation, then how can I expect to be a good parent to my children?  And then there’s everything else that God’s created me to be…the little passions he’s placed in me.  How can I abandon those?

It’s not that being a mommy isn’t important.  It’s an amazing calling, and a huge responsibility.  I stay at home to be a mommy to my little boy.  It’s important to treasure and spend time with your little ones!

And yet, as my mom encouraged me the other day:  I’m not just a mommy.  Let’s be honest…how many of us moms no longer put the effort into looking cute?  How infrequent has your time with your hubby become?  Do you ever wear anything “special” for him anymore?  When’s the last time you went on a date with your spouse?  Are you the type of mom who will make it to your child’s first birthday without ever having left them…ever? 

Yes, being a mommy is important, but so is being a wife.  And a woman.  And a follower of Christ.  And all the other things God’s created you to be.  Don’t loose who you are—who God created you to be—for the sake of being a mommy!  In the long run, you’ll be a much better mommy if your marriage is healthy.  You’ll be a much better wife if you take time for yourself.  You’ll take more time for yourself if your “mommy” hat is just one of many. 

In honor of this new challenge to myself (and you), I have two cute new pairs of boots sitting in my closet…and I’m really going to wear them.