The Life Not My Own

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Making of a Daddy

One of my friends told me she thought the baby was coming last Thursday.  All day, Andy asked me how I was “feeling”, and whether the baby was coming.  Well, no such luck (and still none!). 

Surprisingly, he doesn’t really seem nervous.  Last week on the way to my 37-week check-up, he said he wished the baby would just come that day.  He’s just so ready for our little man to be here!

With all the “advice” he’s been getting, I’m surprised he’s anything but dreading the baby getting here.  It seems like every father (and many mothers) have been telling him the same things.  Your life as you know it is over.  You’ll never get any sleep again.  Ready to be put on the back burner?  Your baby won’t seem like a blessing that first year.  You’ll never be able to do anything fun or spontaneous ever again.  Say good-bye to date nights and days golfing with your buddies.  Frankly, to both Andy and I, the negative “advice” is getting old.  I mean, we know all about the hard things about having a baby…can someone please start telling us the good?!

Somehow, though, it all seems vaguely familiar.  Remembering back, it was these same men who told Andy what a burden marriage would be, how he’d never get to do anything fun again, and how a wife would just nag him all the time.  Those comments got old too…and fast.  Ironically, none of those things they predicted came true.  Today, Andy would tell you that we enjoy a wonderful, fulfilling, and fun marriage.  Sure, marriage is a lot of responsibility and hard work…but it’s a much bigger blessing.

Even still, it’s amazing to see how excited he is for Baby B to be here.  It seems like every spare minute he spends fixing or making something, all for the sake of his sweet little boy.  He wants everything ready. 

What he doesn’t see, though, is how his heart is getting ready…and that’s the biggest blessing to me.  It seems like each day that passes, he falls more-and-more in love with the little man we have yet to meet.  I see his heart softening and his perseverance strengthening.  I am so thankful for a man who has no fear of smelly diapers or sleepless nights.  He doesn’t worry about never getting to do anything fun again, or being placed on the “back burner”.  Instead, he is incredibly thankful for this blessing due to arrive any day now. 

Yes, he knows that life will change.  He knows that parenthood will be full of work and frustration.  Yet, he also knows that it will be full of unspeakable blessings that far outweigh the bad.  Just like marriage, parenthood is all in how you see it.  There will always be hard times and trials, but will you choose to dwell on them and make mountains out of mole hills?  Or, will you choose to focus on the good? 

It’s a blessing to watch this transformation of my man into a daddy.  Becoming a daddy isn’t scary to him…because he chooses to embrace the good.

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1 Comments:

  • At July 26, 2012 at 7:18 AM , OpenID joannalynnhobble said...

    Wow. My husband and I have had the exact same experience. Before we were married, it was "Oh, wait till the honeymoon's over! Give it six months, and you won't want to spend so much time together" and after we were married, it was "Just wait five years. You won't be so happy about being married then... you know, the old ball and chain???" And when we were expecting, it was, "GROAN, you will never sleep again! Kids are such a pain, babies will ruin your marriage, and you'll never get to spend time together again. You'd better enjoy these next few months, cause once baby comes life as you know it is over!" I even had one person tell us that kids always grow up to hate their parents anyway, so we'd better try to enjoy our baby during it's sleepless phase, cause it wasn't going to get any more fun.

    And yes, it is wearying. And yes, like you, I feel blessed by the positive attitude my husband has taken in the face of all the negative input. I'm sure that's a huge step to making an amazing daddy!

    Since I am only two weeks behind you in my pregnancy, I've enjoyed following your updates and reading your thoughts. Most of the time, I read what you write and think, "Yep, exactly. That's what I think/experience too!" Hope all goes well with you and Baby B when the time comes for him to make his appearance!

     

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