The Life Not My Own

Friday, August 16, 2013

One Year

Well, my sweet little man is a whole year old.  I still have to pinch myself when I say that.  It just doesn’t seem real. 

There are days that it doesn’t even seem real that I am a mama…that I have a son. 

I never thought I’d have a son that would look so much like me.  I mean, he looks like a little boy—and he certainly acts like one—but his face, his build, his head, even many of his looks are so very like me. 

It seems fitting, really, that this little man child that came from my womb would be such a mirror for me.  It makes me think of the flaws I have that I don’t want to pass on to him.  It makes me worry that I will never know how to parent such a child.  I certainly would never have known how to parent myself.  Add to that the fact that he is very definitively all-boy, and I feel utterly lost and helpless. 

Thankfully, my God is not.  Daily I pray and ask God for wisdom.  I ask Him to show me how to raise up this little man right.  I ask Him to show me how to best lead him on the path God has for him. 

I don’t have all the answers.  Heck, I don’t have any of the answers.  But that’s okay.  My loving, gracious, amazing God does.  And that’s all I need to know.

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