When the Greyness is Darker than the Dark

*I wrote this as I was coming out of PPD, and thought I'd share it with you all.

Dark times and trials are awful, don't get me wrong.  But at least when you're in them, you know they're in them.  And you feel justified to be sad, upset, or at a loss to know what to do.

Those grey times can be so much harder.

You know those times.  Life is good, really it is.  You don't have any big trials to get through or problems to solve.  Yet somewhere deep inside you just feel off.

On the outside, everything is good.  You put on a good facade.  Because times are relatively good, no one would have any reason to suspect that something was not right.  You hear of other people's hard, awful trials, and you feel ashamed for the way you feel.  Almost like you have no right.

Know that there is no shame in the greyness.  It's hard too.  I know.  Light shines clearly in the darkness.  But in the grey fog, it often gets muddled.  

Yet, know this too: God's light is not the kind of light we understand.  It doesn't get muddled or lost in the grey.  It shines clearly and with warmth, dissipating it away...more like the sun than a lamp.

There is no shame in the greyness.  It is just as hard as the darkness.  Hold fast to the True Light that cuts through the fog.